Candee and I got together with the fabulous Lori Watt to record a little video blog about the upcoming Expo. We had waaay to much fun, but we managed to get a take in between all the giggles.

One of the participants in the Meisner Acting Lab that finished Phase One yesterday shared an entry from her journal. I liked her perspective so much that I asked if she would mind recording it to share on my website and she generously agreed. Here are Hannah's thoughts on the structure of the Meisner work: 

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When you tell people that you're an actor, you can get some pretty off the wall, laughable and occasionally really  offensive responses. Especially in Vancouver, which has got to have almost as many aspiring actors as Los Angeles. I'm not going to address all of the ridiculous things I've been asked upon answering that dreaded "So what do you do?" question. But there is one particular myth that I'd like to dispel today. Acting is not lying. It's not a form of escapism and it's not about pretending to be someone else. This is why:


There are two fundamentally wrong assumptions here. 
1. Good acting is about telling the truth, the truest truth you possibly can.
2. Character is not an outside thing you put on like a costume, it must arise from within. The character is never someone else, it always you.

Human experience is 100% subjective. It's not like we can just shrug off the "my perspective suit" and put on another. Your personality, belief system and cognitive links are so complex and deep and so much a part of you that you can't switch them on and off. Even if you were pretending to be someone else and no-one noticed how disconnected you were, you could only portray them as you see them, which isn't them at all is it? Two dimensional characters and broad stereotyping are often a result of this "put on the character" kind of thinking. It's surface level, judgemental and never believable.

OK, but what about those actors who totally transform? They're not being themselves. They're completely different from character to character! They walk differently, talk differently, their personality is different. How can I say they're not pretending to be someone else? Are these not affected behaviours? 

This is where imaginary circumstances come in to play.

Stanislavski talked about the Magic If. Meisner said that acting is living truthfully under imaginary circumstances.  Herein lies the secret. This is how transformation is possible. You can't fake it and it can't be applied from the outside, it must always come from within. You only ever have yourself to work with, but your imagination is infinite. 

I started acting when I was about 6 or 7. At the time, all I wanted was to be someone else. I was bullied by my peers, I hated the way I looked and I treasured the chance to be someone else one afternoon a week, checking my reality at the door. That's what got me in, but that's not why I stayed. 

Spend any reasonable amount of time studying the art of acting and you realize that it's about facing your demons, not running away from them. By the time I was a teenager, my reasons had shifted. I wasn't happy with my life, but I wanted to change it, not escape it. The rehearsal room was the only safe place to be myself. To delve deep into my subconscious, to learn, to grow, to work out some of my angst. To be free. 

Acting isn't therapy. Your acting coach does not (typically) have a degree in psychology and you should never confuse the two. It does, however, require that you have an intimate knowledge of yourself. 

As an adult, I love theatre more than ever and the magic is certainly still a part of it, but my reasons have shifted once again. Acting is no longer about escaping reality and my demons and I are great friends at this point. The Ancient Greeks used theatre for Catharsis. For me it's about Empathy. Whether you're attending a powerful performance as an audience member, taking a beginners acting class for the fun of it or working as a professional actor, you may not be thinking about it, but you're strengthening your empathy muscle. You're opening yourself to experience someone else's reality. By experiencing the truth (especially someone else's truth) under imaginary circumstances, you're learning how to understand, if not to love, your neighbour. You're building your humanity. And the world needs more of that I think.

There's not a lot of truly powerful theatre out there at the moment, but it is out there. Go see theatre. Take an acting class. Take a giant step outside your mind and watch how it changes your world.

We've all heard of emotional eating. I certainly am no stranger to the practice, but I've noticed something interesting about my relationship to food and how I use it to suppress what I'm feeling.

We usually associate emotional eating with negative emotions, a way to feel less pain, loneliness, sadness etc. But I have noticed that these days I use food to suppress my positive emotions as much or even more than the negative ones!

Most actors won't eat before a performance, because of nerves usually. My habit was to always eat before a performance in order to suppress the nerves. But nerves aren't just fear, they're excitement and energy too. By suppressing the nerves I am calmer, but I am also suppressing every other emotion! Which obviously is not the best idea as an actor. Suppression is not selective, the numbness is all encompassing. In 2013 I experimented with acting on an empty stomach and yes, I felt the nerves more and I had to work a little harder on grounding my energy, but I was also more connected to my body. 

I use food to suppress joy, excitement and energy in order to keep myself working. I don't like sitting at a computer, I'd rather be up and running around doing stuff, riding my excitement and enthusiasm like a drug. But that admin needs to get done. Blog posts need to be written. And I have no self-discipline. So instead there is always something to nibble on next to my computer, something to keep me numb enough to concentrate on the task at hand. 

I recognize that is an unhealthy habit and after flirting with the idea in 2013, my 2014 resolution is to stop using food as a crutch: to stop suppressing my excitement and my fear, my joy and my sorrow. I imagine I will be less focussed, less productive, less present and less balanced for a little while as I adjust, but I trust I will find a new, more intense focus, a deeper grounded presence and a better relationship with my nervous and excited energy on the other side. What's your healthy habit resolution?

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I think all actors do their fair share of naval gazing, it is essential to know yourself if you are going to inhabit other people on a regular basis.

I am currently working with a Women's Empowerment Coach (www.abrelynmalapad.com - she's awesome!) to help me work though some of the emotional stuff that is limiting me in my business. Today we had a conversation that reminded me how powerful an outside perspective can be. 

Actors work from instinct and even what we learn intellectually, we turn into instinct so we don't need to think about it when we're performing. Thinking takes you out of the moment. Which is great! Except that when something becomes automatic we stop knowing that we know it. And that means we need someone else to remind us. As much for our own self-esteem as for a little perspective. 

A lot of these instincts are important life-skills (Which is another reason I'm looking at this right now, as the Corporate Workshop reaches the Beta Testing Phase.) I am often amazed at how many things I take for granted as an actor that I wish I could do in my everyday life. I just don't make the connection because I don't realize that I know how to do it in the first place. This might be part of why actors get so superstitious, we pretty much train ourselves to forget what we've learned and then when we are successful, we our chalk it up to talent, luck or extenuating circumstances. 

Every time I hear a past director or acting teacher in my head, I make a mental note. But I think it's time to formally list all of the skills I've picked up over the years that I bundle under "theatre craft" and own them Then perhaps I can apply them to the world stage. 

What life-skills has acting taught you that you don't acknowledge?

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So the Vancouver International Fringe Festival is over for this year. I'm sad, but it's given me a lot to think about. There were some amazing (and some misused) voices this fringe. Here are some of my observations and tips from the last few weeks:

Voice is a huge part of character development. In "regular theatre" where an actor is only playing one role it's not so obvious, but in Fringe, where very often actors are playing multiple characters, it becomes increasingly important. I'm not talking about accents or funny voices, I'm talking about physically internalizing the character. It's essential. When actors use external indicators like costume to differentiate between characters it can be helpful to the audience, but if the actor doesn't believe the change, the characters all blend together despite the best intentioned visual cues. 

The other thing is articulation. Young and inexperienced actors excited about singing or doing accents can forget about diction in their enthusiasm. All that energy is wasted if I can't work out what you're saying. 

I have to mention Kitt and Jane by SNAFU Dance Theatre. Aside from the fact that I think this show was beyond awesome in a million other ways, it's pretty awesome vocally too. Ingrid Hansen is inspiring as the plucky Kitt and has a gorgeous(!) singing voice, but what really impressed me was Rod Peter Jr. as Jane. His thin, bright character voice was so solid that I was not expecting such a rich and resonant one when he opened his mouth after curtain call. Such an intelligent and healthy choice, directing his voice through his cheekbones and facial mask adding a thin, "weedy" quality without loosing any of his projective range. They could hear him in the back just fine even though it felt psychologically like his voice would disappear into himself at any second. Coupled with his introverted posture, the voice completely sealed the illusion. And by altering the direction of his voice instead of up-pitching, and keeping the breath deep and connected, there's no damage done so he can keep doing it night after night! I was very impressed. Might steal that trick myself some day. . . 

Some great examples of multiple characters done really well were Paul Cosentino in Bad Connections? (also an AWESOME script by the way, written by Michael Levesque) and Andrew Bailey in The Adversary (which he also wrote, fit him like a glove). There were a LOT of shows in the Fringe and I didn't even see half of them, so this isn't a definitive list, just a sample of what impressed me on a purely vocal level.

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That's right! It's Fringe time again in Vancouver and as per usual I am part of the Plank Magazine review team covering the festival. You can read all of the reviews at www.plankmagazine.com

Shows I highly recommend so far (for a variety of reasons):
Bad Connections?
6 Guitars
Kit and Jane
The Adversary
Come Cuddle Me
The Chronicles of Johnny Tomorrow

And finally my jealousy of all my friends I have seen posting about the Edinburgh Fringe for the whole of August is (mostly) assuaged.

If you see a show you love (or hate) at the Vancouver Fringe this year, you are invited to comment either here or at www.plankamagzine.com :)

Happy Fringe-ing!

I was explaining to my friend Ashley (who isn’t an actor) how it feels in those moments in the wings before I step on stage. It’s hard to explain how time slows, how I breathe in magic from the air and relax into a state of present focus. No matter how little sleep I have had over the rehearsal process I feel a bottomless well of inspiration, energy, enthusiasm and fight open up below my feet and I know it will be there as long as I need it. I feel more alive than I’ve ever felt and I know that I can give my scene partner everything that I’ve got to the very last drop.

Ashley casually asked why it is I don’t approach the rest of my life that way.

The question floored me. I didn't have an answer for him at the time. It had never even occurred to me that I could apply the same principles of joy, focus and energy to my real-life goals! But why not? What other opportunities have I been passing up because I had forgotten that all the world is a stage?

Recently I have been working a lot. Long days with little sleep. At first it was difficult and a few weeks in I could feel my energy waning. I could feel the familiar shaky, over-worked, stressed out feeling that I associate with approaching burn-out. Failure and despair were imminent and I was very ready to give up and crawl into
a hole somewhere. But Ashley’s question kept nibbling away at my consciousness. 

Actors: Do you know that feeling when you've worked hard all day, every day for ages? You’ve voluntarily put yourself through the emotional wringer and you keep coming back for more and at the end of each day you're just wreaked. I know I’m doing my job right when it feels like I’ve lived out every possible emotion in the whole of human history in one afternoon; my body and your soul are raw and I have no idea what I‘m doing, nor who I am or how I feel because I left everything I had up there on the stage.

You get where this is going? The body sore, frustrated to tears, utterly lost and alone burn-out feeling I get from pushing myself in my life is the same feeling! The only difference is that in my life I expect to have the answers. I want to see the product and feel like I’m composed and in control. So. If I can surrender and trust the process on stage and in an acting class and LOVE it, in theory I can do the same with my life. 

I’ve been pushing for a few months now. The exhaustion and the drive come and go. I’m not yet at the point where I’m approaching my life with the vigorous joyful surrender as I do a performance, but I have moments. The muscle memory is building,

I’m looking forward to waking up one morning, putting my feet on the floor and seeing that limitless well of inspiration, energy, fight and enthusiasm open up before my feet and knowing that it will be there as long as I need it to be.

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My recent experiences auditioning and giving advice to friends who are starting to audition made me realize I should share a few audition tips for those of us who get nervous.

1. Choosing a Monologue

I'm just zeroing in on nerve-busting strategies here. Obviously you must still take into account all the normal stuff like appropriateness of genre, range, length, context, your personal connection to the piece etc etc.

If you've done any work with me you'll have heard me say that you need to know your text inside out and back to front. This is always true but it is especially important in the context of an audition. To test if you know your piece well enough try it while doing something that requires both your body and brain like a choreographed dance or gardening. If you cannot simultaneously say your words and do the activity then you don't know the piece well enough yet. In addition to knowing your words inside out, it is also helpful to know yourself. Everyone is different. How do your nerves manifest? At an audition what does your body typically do? What mannerisms and personality traits surface? And how can you use this knowledge to your advantage?

Now, I'm NOT saying that you should choose something about a nervous actor and just ride your nerves in the audition. There are so many reasons why that doesn't work. But it IS a lot easier to match your physical energy and subtly change it than is is to do a complete 180 against what your body is giving you. You'll always have to ground your energy, personalize and get into character but if your nervous self is highly strung perhaps a neurotic or desperate person would be a better choice than a depressive or zen-master. That way you can use your adrenaline engine instead of spending all your energy trying to smother it. Similarly, if you become paralyzed with nerves and want to crawl into a hole a hide then perhaps you want a less physical character, look for something a bit more contained.

The hardest part about auditioning, especially if you are choosing to work with your nerves instead of against them, is staying/getting grounded. Most of us when we're nervous let that hysterical energy bring our centre of gravity way up into our shoulders. But we'll address that a little later in the series. Right now just think about the character you've chosen or are going to choose and how you can make the physical manifestation of your nerves work for you.

I've been avoiding blogging. I've been telling myself I don't have the time. But I've been writing drafts, just not finishing or publishing them, so that's obviously not true.

I've been avoiding blogging because I'm afraid of owning my opinions. I've been reviewing a lot recently and something I struggle with is this idea of creating a "balanced" review. I don't have a problem with the fact that my review will be subjective, but within that subjectivity of my experience there is so much I have to say, so many arguments to make that just choosing what to focus on is a very big decision, it can completely skew the data. And is that bad? How do you know when you're focussing on the right thing? What if someone takes my criticism to heart? What if they think that one tick was all I saw of their entire performance? I can't comment on the entirety of even one person's performance, never mind encapsulate a show! I can only get specific with one or two things, how can I honestly say what's at the forefront of my mind while still representing the whole?

A conversation with a friend at the theatre tonight (I owe my friends so much, they remind me of who I am and what's important in life and inspire my dreams) made me think I'd really like to start a critical column somewhere. Not reviews, I do that already. Specific acting and voice tips based on my experiences, based on performances I see, that kind of thing and I was wondering how on earth I could do that. And then I realized I have a blog! That's what this is for! I should use it.

So this is a recommitment to myself. And to you, whoever reads this, to be brave and honest. To own my opinions and to be wrong. (Wow I am just reminded of a promise I made myself at the last mini-intensive with David Smukler. I said I'd find my courage. Amazing how quickly we forget the big stuff.) 

Courage and blogging. And here we go. . .