You may or may not know that I review for an online magazine, called Plank. 

Last night I saw Grace Symmetry, a collaborative performance between Ballet BC and Turning Point Ensemble. This snippet of conversation from drinks after the show sums up the experience pretty well:

“This ballet feels so primal, it’s like the material by-passed my brain, reached into my guts and stirred things about.”
“Yes! Not needing words they instead go: That thing you’re feeling? It looks something like this...“

I'd much prefer you went to see it for yourself (I heard a rumour they've opened up some more seats, might even be discounted on the day-of.) but it's only at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre Feb 20 - 22, so if you can't, at least read my review. I have a feeling I will carry the memory of this performance with me for the rest of my life.

Read more at:
http://www.plankmagazine.com/review/grace-symmetry-triumph-human-form

When you tell people that you're an actor, you can get some pretty off the wall, laughable and occasionally really  offensive responses. Especially in Vancouver, which has got to have almost as many aspiring actors as Los Angeles. I'm not going to address all of the ridiculous things I've been asked upon answering that dreaded "So what do you do?" question. But there is one particular myth that I'd like to dispel today. Acting is not lying. It's not a form of escapism and it's not about pretending to be someone else. This is why:


There are two fundamentally wrong assumptions here. 
1. Good acting is about telling the truth, the truest truth you possibly can.
2. Character is not an outside thing you put on like a costume, it must arise from within. The character is never someone else, it always you.

Human experience is 100% subjective. It's not like we can just shrug off the "my perspective suit" and put on another. Your personality, belief system and cognitive links are so complex and deep and so much a part of you that you can't switch them on and off. Even if you were pretending to be someone else and no-one noticed how disconnected you were, you could only portray them as you see them, which isn't them at all is it? Two dimensional characters and broad stereotyping are often a result of this "put on the character" kind of thinking. It's surface level, judgemental and never believable.

OK, but what about those actors who totally transform? They're not being themselves. They're completely different from character to character! They walk differently, talk differently, their personality is different. How can I say they're not pretending to be someone else? Are these not affected behaviours? 

This is where imaginary circumstances come in to play.

Stanislavski talked about the Magic If. Meisner said that acting is living truthfully under imaginary circumstances.  Herein lies the secret. This is how transformation is possible. You can't fake it and it can't be applied from the outside, it must always come from within. You only ever have yourself to work with, but your imagination is infinite. 

I started acting when I was about 6 or 7. At the time, all I wanted was to be someone else. I was bullied by my peers, I hated the way I looked and I treasured the chance to be someone else one afternoon a week, checking my reality at the door. That's what got me in, but that's not why I stayed. 

Spend any reasonable amount of time studying the art of acting and you realize that it's about facing your demons, not running away from them. By the time I was a teenager, my reasons had shifted. I wasn't happy with my life, but I wanted to change it, not escape it. The rehearsal room was the only safe place to be myself. To delve deep into my subconscious, to learn, to grow, to work out some of my angst. To be free. 

Acting isn't therapy. Your acting coach does not (typically) have a degree in psychology and you should never confuse the two. It does, however, require that you have an intimate knowledge of yourself. 

As an adult, I love theatre more than ever and the magic is certainly still a part of it, but my reasons have shifted once again. Acting is no longer about escaping reality and my demons and I are great friends at this point. The Ancient Greeks used theatre for Catharsis. For me it's about Empathy. Whether you're attending a powerful performance as an audience member, taking a beginners acting class for the fun of it or working as a professional actor, you may not be thinking about it, but you're strengthening your empathy muscle. You're opening yourself to experience someone else's reality. By experiencing the truth (especially someone else's truth) under imaginary circumstances, you're learning how to understand, if not to love, your neighbour. You're building your humanity. And the world needs more of that I think.

There's not a lot of truly powerful theatre out there at the moment, but it is out there. Go see theatre. Take an acting class. Take a giant step outside your mind and watch how it changes your world.

Want a real cure for the hiccoughs?

There are many myths about how to cure the hiccoughs, from getting a fright to drinking water upside-down, but most of them are more amusing than helpful.

Hiccoughs are caused by a spasm in your diaphragm, the muscle that helps you breathe in and out. This breath control exercise will bring conscious energy into that muscle and so calm the spasm. It works every time.

You may not be able to isolate your diaphragm exactly. That's OK. The trick is to use the muscles in your diaphragm, solarplexis and belly as mindfully as possible. Remember: this is a control exercise, specifically designed to calm nerves or a fluttery diaphragm, it is not to be used in performance or as part of your practice towards free, relaxed sound.

As evenly and measuredly as you can:
(Using the muscles in your diaphragm, solarplexis and belly to breathe, not your shoulders or your throat!)
1. Breathe in for 5 counts
2. Hold the breath inside you for 3 counts
3. Breathe out for 10 counts on a fricative.
A fricative is a consonant sounds that creates friction as the air escapes. “Ffffff” is the best for being inconspicuous, for example when you have an attack of hiccoughs in a job interview or on a crowded train, but “Sssss”, “Thhh”, “Zzzz” and “Jjjjj” will work just as well.

Repeat steps 1 through 3 without stopping five times. For extreme cases you may need to repeat the steps up to ten times. It won't work if you're multitasking, you will need to put all of your attention on your breath. In most cases 3 to 5 breaths will have you hiccough-free! :)

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We've all heard of emotional eating. I certainly am no stranger to the practice, but I've noticed something interesting about my relationship to food and how I use it to suppress what I'm feeling.

We usually associate emotional eating with negative emotions, a way to feel less pain, loneliness, sadness etc. But I have noticed that these days I use food to suppress my positive emotions as much or even more than the negative ones!

Most actors won't eat before a performance, because of nerves usually. My habit was to always eat before a performance in order to suppress the nerves. But nerves aren't just fear, they're excitement and energy too. By suppressing the nerves I am calmer, but I am also suppressing every other emotion! Which obviously is not the best idea as an actor. Suppression is not selective, the numbness is all encompassing. In 2013 I experimented with acting on an empty stomach and yes, I felt the nerves more and I had to work a little harder on grounding my energy, but I was also more connected to my body. 

I use food to suppress joy, excitement and energy in order to keep myself working. I don't like sitting at a computer, I'd rather be up and running around doing stuff, riding my excitement and enthusiasm like a drug. But that admin needs to get done. Blog posts need to be written. And I have no self-discipline. So instead there is always something to nibble on next to my computer, something to keep me numb enough to concentrate on the task at hand. 

I recognize that is an unhealthy habit and after flirting with the idea in 2013, my 2014 resolution is to stop using food as a crutch: to stop suppressing my excitement and my fear, my joy and my sorrow. I imagine I will be less focussed, less productive, less present and less balanced for a little while as I adjust, but I trust I will find a new, more intense focus, a deeper grounded presence and a better relationship with my nervous and excited energy on the other side. What's your healthy habit resolution?

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I think all actors do their fair share of naval gazing, it is essential to know yourself if you are going to inhabit other people on a regular basis.

I am currently working with a Women's Empowerment Coach (www.abrelynmalapad.com - she's awesome!) to help me work though some of the emotional stuff that is limiting me in my business. Today we had a conversation that reminded me how powerful an outside perspective can be. 

Actors work from instinct and even what we learn intellectually, we turn into instinct so we don't need to think about it when we're performing. Thinking takes you out of the moment. Which is great! Except that when something becomes automatic we stop knowing that we know it. And that means we need someone else to remind us. As much for our own self-esteem as for a little perspective. 

A lot of these instincts are important life-skills (Which is another reason I'm looking at this right now, as the Corporate Workshop reaches the Beta Testing Phase.) I am often amazed at how many things I take for granted as an actor that I wish I could do in my everyday life. I just don't make the connection because I don't realize that I know how to do it in the first place. This might be part of why actors get so superstitious, we pretty much train ourselves to forget what we've learned and then when we are successful, we our chalk it up to talent, luck or extenuating circumstances. 

Every time I hear a past director or acting teacher in my head, I make a mental note. But I think it's time to formally list all of the skills I've picked up over the years that I bundle under "theatre craft" and own them Then perhaps I can apply them to the world stage. 

What life-skills has acting taught you that you don't acknowledge?

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My mother recently reminded me of something that speaks to my previous posts about self-song and lullabies.

When I was a kid I threw some serious temper tantrums. I was pretty unmanageable. But my mother discovered that if she could just get this ball of kicking and screaming and biting into the bathroom, plunk her into a warm bath, lock the door (and then stand outside to listen and make sure I was safe) as soon as I thought I was alone I'd start singing. Angry songs at first, but within five minutes I would miraculously sing myself happy. Every time. Without fail. This was pretty much a daily occurrence for longer than I'd care to admit.

Of course I cottoned on to her fiendish plot and would try really hard to get angry at her later for making me forget why I was angry at her. But even when I knew what she was doing, and fought her tooth and nail, it always worked. And I still do it to this day. I don't march myself to an enforced bath, but I do sing it out. It made me realize that this habit of singing the pain away has been with me my whole life.

This is especially interesting because my niece was born recently. (The first in our generation, it's very exciting and I am so happy for and proud of my brother and his wife. They are going to be amazing parents.) I've been looking up lullabies to sing to her. And books to read of course. This story-telling thing has so many amazing uses, but holding my little niece I realized that I had forgotten that even before we understand words, even before we understand tone, we feel vibrations. And the sound of a voice of a loved one reverberating through their chest and cocooning you in sound is a first, primal memory of love and comfort.

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It's my birthday! You know what that means? Birthday giveaway time!

We all know that things like habitual tension are more than just physical. It's a committed emotional relationship. We grow attached to our old ways. Like an unhealthy romance we just don't want to end because we have so much HISTORY. Am I right?

So here's a fun exercise: let's take the metaphor to a whole new level. . .

Step 1. Write a break up letter to your tension. Tell your aches and pains and muscular tightness and stress that you are leaving them for a new love: an open relaxed body! Take the exercise as far as you can. Why did you start the relationship to begin with? What were you expecting? What did it turn out to be in reality? What do you get out of it? (Be honest, there's a reason you're still together.) What memories and parts of yourself have you attached to this relationship that you are scared you'll lose when you admit that it's over? How are you realizing now that this is destructive and stopping you from being who you really want to be? Have your friends commented? Is an intervention necessary? Personify your tension, tell it how it makes you feel. Then gently, but firmly, let it know you are moving on to a healthier you.

Step 2: Write a letter to yourself to strengthen your resolve. How will your life be better with your new flame? Do you need support from your friends? - Ask them! How about a new regimen? Dream about what life will be like when you are free.

Write it and mean it. Even mail it to yourself to make it more official. 

Step 3: Stick by what you've said. Implement your new habits and cut those ties for good. It's a process, it takes time, you'll have days when you want to run back and beg forgiveness. But you know this is best. Be strong. Pamper yourself and commit to a healthier, happier you. :)

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So the Vancouver International Fringe Festival is over for this year. I'm sad, but it's given me a lot to think about. There were some amazing (and some misused) voices this fringe. Here are some of my observations and tips from the last few weeks:

Voice is a huge part of character development. In "regular theatre" where an actor is only playing one role it's not so obvious, but in Fringe, where very often actors are playing multiple characters, it becomes increasingly important. I'm not talking about accents or funny voices, I'm talking about physically internalizing the character. It's essential. When actors use external indicators like costume to differentiate between characters it can be helpful to the audience, but if the actor doesn't believe the change, the characters all blend together despite the best intentioned visual cues. 

The other thing is articulation. Young and inexperienced actors excited about singing or doing accents can forget about diction in their enthusiasm. All that energy is wasted if I can't work out what you're saying. 

I have to mention Kitt and Jane by SNAFU Dance Theatre. Aside from the fact that I think this show was beyond awesome in a million other ways, it's pretty awesome vocally too. Ingrid Hansen is inspiring as the plucky Kitt and has a gorgeous(!) singing voice, but what really impressed me was Rod Peter Jr. as Jane. His thin, bright character voice was so solid that I was not expecting such a rich and resonant one when he opened his mouth after curtain call. Such an intelligent and healthy choice, directing his voice through his cheekbones and facial mask adding a thin, "weedy" quality without loosing any of his projective range. They could hear him in the back just fine even though it felt psychologically like his voice would disappear into himself at any second. Coupled with his introverted posture, the voice completely sealed the illusion. And by altering the direction of his voice instead of up-pitching, and keeping the breath deep and connected, there's no damage done so he can keep doing it night after night! I was very impressed. Might steal that trick myself some day. . . 

Some great examples of multiple characters done really well were Paul Cosentino in Bad Connections? (also an AWESOME script by the way, written by Michael Levesque) and Andrew Bailey in The Adversary (which he also wrote, fit him like a glove). There were a LOT of shows in the Fringe and I didn't even see half of them, so this isn't a definitive list, just a sample of what impressed me on a purely vocal level.

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I've been sick with the same cold everyone else in Vancouver has had these last few weeks. And I've always heard that coughing was bad for your voice, and I kinda believed it, I mean it makes sense, but it's never really stopped me before. This time I felt it.

Owee! One cough too early in the stages of my cold and I felt like I shouldn't talk for the rest of the day! So please, if you're sick like so many other people are during the change of seasons. Please don't cough. Hum. Be patient. Endure the tickle. It's not worth it. Your voice will thank you.

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